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I sat here for a good hour thinking about what I should write about today. I have a bunch of recipes compiled that I wanted to share, but I wanted to write about something more; something with substance.
Over the last five years if not longer, friends that have come and gone, continuously made mistakes, though I have also learned from them. I always knew from the beginning that my life was not so perfect. I always felt my life was so broken and I kept trying to fix relationships that were hopeless. I continuously kept sinking my own boat. I placed myself in situations that I could not get out of. At the end of the day there was no one else to blame but myself.
It was not until a few years ago when I finally woke up from the unhappiness that I have been living in to change.
I am doing the best I can each day to start all over with my family. I made the decision to let go of friends like cold turkey because I just didn't feel like it would be beneficial for me to be around during my healing process. In my case so many parts of my life were broken and I had tried to fix it multiple times and after so many times I gave up. In my opinion it's like being able to choose your battles. I was tired of being unhappy.
The moment that I dropped everything that I did not feel was beneficial for me I suddenly saw a change. Sure, I still have a long way to go as far as my outlook on life. However, I know that I have started something new and wonderful. When I started to focus more on myself and my family I soon realized that a lot of the issues that I was stressing about before seemed so miniscule. My relationship with my family, my boyfriend and most importantly with my son got better. Starting over seemed scary and I didn't find a reason to at first. It was not until I realized that I could lose everything in a blink of an eye if I didn't let go of whatever may be broken.
It took some time, but I feel like I have improved greatly within myself. I am in a much better position than I was 3-4 years ago. I have let go of people that I didn't feel deserve me or my family in my life. I have created a much better outlook on life for myself. I now have goals of where I want myself and dreams of where I see my family to be at in the future.