Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Facebook Controversy

People are so fat, it's disgusting. Yes I said it, I'm angry!! #youcanthandlethetruth - Facebook Post by Unknown

This is what headlined on my Facebook feed this morning. I read the back and forth responses of the person that wrote this and the people that didn't seem quite happy with the comment. To be honest I sat at my desk reading the different responses are and as it seemed to have gotten heated I almost wanted to comment, but did not. I am friends with this person that wrote this and do I think that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, well yes. However, I don't think that I would be so bold to have posted that. I won't post the details of the responses received on Facebook, but I was wondering what your opinion was if this is something you saw first thing in the morning.

The person that wrote this is a writer. In fact the point that was coming across after they explained seemed legit. However, the wording seemed wrong. I agree that this is in fact a super bold statement. I would never say this out loud in public or post it anywhere if I was not open to criticism or people putting in their two cents. Let's just say that the conversation got heated and someone was called ignorant for even posting words of that opinion for people to say something about. Then the topic of being bulimic and anorexic came up which frankly to be honest had nothing to do with the actual words written.

In a sense truth is I slightly felt offended by this comment. Though the back story to why this opinion was, made sense; the actual wording did not. Some people would disagree and say it is the meaning behind it that matters the most. Sure, that matters but really with a comment like that it does not look like the meaning behind it would still be a good excuse to say it. I am mildly offended because I have never been skinny, fit, fat (in a sense of being obese), or disgusting. I am in the middle. I have hit a point where I lost so much weight that I in fact became unhealthy. I pushed myself to continuously do the wrong thing just to fit into the "picture perfect" body type that I thought people would like me to be. I was not the happiest nor was I the healthiest. Yes, I am overweight now and above the range of my BMI, but I would not say that I am just plain fat or disgusting.

I commend people that do work out and put lots of time, patience, and motivation to get where they are at. I too want to be one of those people one day. I agree that complaining about it will not do anything. However, there are also people out there who are overweight for different reasons. Whatever their reason may be that is a decision that they are willing to be. Skinny is not perfect, fat is not perfect, and even I believe that fit is not perfect. Perfect is the body type you are the happiest in. It is what you are comfortable with and what makes you; well you. I am far from being perfect, in fact I have tons of body image issues due to the fact that I am always hearing or reading that being skinny is sexy, or you have to look this way for people to like you which is major crap. Being too skinny (unhealthy) and overweight (unhealthy) can both cause severe medical issues. You can die being too skinny (hence being anorexic or bulimic) or die being fat (hence heart attacks, strokes, etc..).

As mentioned it IS a very bold statement and I am not sure that people realize that what they say can really hurt someone or hit home. This is the type of comment or reason that we see that can drain someone. This type of comment does not make us look any better. In fact, as mentioned by someone it just made that person look ignorant.

What do you think or how would you react if you saw this somewhere? Better question would be is how would you react if your children wrote this or if they read this? How does this affect our youth today?


  1. That's horrible, that's why I don't use Facebook anymore! I keep seeing all of those random horrible stuff like it's funny to shoot an animal, etc. It's sad to see offensive statements (even banners) posted on these live feed.

  2. The tone of a update like that is really off putting and I would be in the same situation as you... I want to respond, but is it even worth it? I am pretty sensitive to feelings so to know how a update like this can bum someone out (no matter their size) and make their day suddenly bad is really upsetting. One thing is for sure, next time I saw this person I would totally side eye them.

  3. Body image can be affected in so many ways, both overt and subconscious. We always encourage our girls to eat healthy foods (although they still eat more than their fair share of sweets thanks to their sweet tooth mommy!) so they can become strong and healthy which is far more important than actual body shape/size.

  4. the plain truth: people are idiots. it doesn't matter if this "person" is a "writer" and as a writer, she was probably doing this just to get a reaction and be memorable in some weird, twisted way but there's a right way to convey your message and a wrong way and this is definitely the wrong way.

    that said, i wouldn't even bother and just go on about their day. what counts is how YOU conduct and live your life; there are plenty of idiots out there but you don't have to associate yourself with them...i for one just ignore it.

    i teach kayla all about living a healthy lifestyle. she sees that my hubs and i workout regularly; we all engage in outdoor activities all the time and we eat healthy as well. kayla knows that desserts and sweets are "treats" that is only to be consumed in moderation (not every day) and that we eat healthy food to "grow big and strong".

    aside from living a healthy lifestyle, i also teach kayla to think about her words before she says them and that words, like hitting, can hurt if not more. although she's only 5, these are fundamentals that she needs to learn early on and we work hard to teach her right from wrong.

  5. Oh boy - the age old question of body image. Maybe it's not age old, which is quite sad as well. Health should always be the priority and everybody is different. Hurtful comments are designed exactly to do what they are intended for. I'd ignore those and focus on what I know is good for me

  6. i'm actually doing a post on this in a couple months, but a few months ago, i was walking to the office and heard a guy say about ME, "If I was that fat, I'd kill myself."
    It was crushing! I am healthy, but will never be model-thin. It's not in my genetic makeup.

  7. Yea, I mean at first I tried to ignore it then I gradually saw that a lot of people got upset about the comment she made. Sometimes, I wonder wth is wrong with people these days.

  8. @Stephanie: You are doing a great job showing your girls the importance of being healthy and how its not a body image thing. I wish when I was younger I was properly advised or spoken to so that I know how to react to these kind of situations. I am also trying to teach my son to eat healthy so that he will be strong. It works, but I would be so upset if my son ever said anything like this.

  9. @Pamela @ Brooklyn Farm Girl: It sucks because I know this person well and I would never expect her to say something this bold and stupid. Yea, I think it is stupid. No one is perfect and she is in no position to make any type of judgement against anyone. Sure, we are all humans and we do it once in a while, but to post it to the general public is just not very smart. I'm sure if someone was offended and wanted to be offensive back it would be fairly easy to do so, but not even worth it.

  10. @kathy @ vodka and soda: You are such a good mom and I believe that Kayla will grow up and make the right decisions for her life. I do the same with Ryu where I teach him to eat his food so that he can grow up to be strong. He completely agrees with me as well.

    People are stupid and to be honest I'm a bit ashamed to know someone who would make an idiotic post/comment such as that. Whatever her reason may be it still doesn't mean that it is okay to judge anyone. Sure, we all do it once in a while but I am sure that we are all a bit discreet about it and we do not go out of our way to offend the general public.

    Not going to lie, but in a sense it does make me look at her a little bit less of a friend and I don't like to associate myself with people who just come off heartless like that.

  11. @rooth: You are absolutely right. It is something that can be ignored. I too should have ignored and I too feel stupid posting about it, but I also wanted some clarity to know if maybe I was overreacting to that comment?

    I don't know why it's so hard for people to just get along or just mind their own business. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I feel like I have used that to my fullest advantage, ha.

  12. @elle sees: Oh my I can only imagine the feeling. I too would have been so crushed, but I probably would have let him know that I heard it by saying if I was just as ignorant as you I'd jump off a bridge.

    People are so hurtful and I don't even know what the purposes behind it is. It's like some people just do not have filters. I also don't want to make a comment that is completely out of hand, but I would think that more than half of these people were brought up better than that. Saying something impolite or idiotic is not going to make that person look better, it just makes them look dumber.